So you’ve been noticing that you really don’t have as many Parent Teacher Volunteers (PTO) or members as you’d like, and so you’re thinking that mixing things up may change that.
You’re looking to meet off-site, away from the school for your next PTO meeting so parents can enjoy a more relaxed setting.
Then you mentioned something to your Principal, and they’re like, “Nope, you cannot meet any place where alcohol is being served. That is full stop illegal, you may not do that.”
But is it actually bad, let alone illegal, to meet as a PTO at a restaurant or bar as a PTO?
That’s just what we’re going to get into in this blog post, so read on!
Is it Bad for PTOs to Meet at Bars?
Cutting right to the chase, I don’t know where this idea that PTO members can’t meet at a restaurant or a bar where alcohol is being served.
Because first, I’m assuming everybody that would be attending is of legal drinking age.
Second, I’m not all that familiar with any dry counties left.
There may be some somewhere in the United States or elsewhere in the world.
And third, it’s not like you’re exactly going to be forcing drinks down anybody’s throat.
So as adults, they have the option of making that personal decision for themselves.
I personally prefer my extra calories to come from chocolate and bread, so adult beverages usually aren’t my thing.
But that doesn’t prevent me from going to PTO nights out!
Also, your likely aim in meeting off-campus is to attract more parents to come to an event outside of the school.
In all actuality, it may not necessarily attract more parents, but probably different parents, at least at first.Â
And so it can be a great way to get people out of the house.
You can fashion it like a Parent’s Night Out or a Mom’s Night Out and give people just an opportunity to get out of the house without the kids and go have some adult social time.
This is something my parent group did on the regular following monthly PTO meetings, that is until our kids started at the Upper Elementary School with a super early start time.
But generally, it is not illegal, nor even frowned upon for PTO members to meet off campus.
Now, I don’t know your particular local rules and regulations, so I can’t say this holds true for all areas.
But it seems very weird to police adults in this way and outright prohibit parents meeting in this way.
But the next question that now comes up is if should you conduct official PTO business during these nights out?
I’ll get to that in just a bit…
How to Manage a Hesitant Principal
So now you know that meeting in a bar isn’t illegal for PTO members.
But that doesn’t entirely solve your issue of being able to meet off campus for a PTO meeting if your Principal is objecting.
How to respond to the hesitant Principal really is dependent on a couple of other factors.
If you’re an independent organization, meaning you have a separate tax ID number, and bank account that is not tied to the school, then you have more room to push back against the Principal.
So if you are a fully independent PTO, meaning your school is there for advice and feedback and input, but not necessarily controlling the purse strings or your access to your money, then you can kind of agree to respectfully disagree with your Principal.
This situation has happened to me before, in a different context, and it’s not comfortable, but it’s sometimes necessary because Principals are occasionally wrong.
Principals don’t always understand from the PTO’s point of view.
They’re used to looking at things from the perspective of preventing an incident that could blow back onto the school and probably onto them.
But this is one case that I struggle to find justification for not meeting at restaurants or bars.
However, if you are dependent, and not separate from the school, and more like an extension of the school, then you’re going to have to be a little more careful about how you respond to the Principal.
You won’t be able to tell them that you respectfully disagree and move forward with the off-campus meeting.
Instead, you’ll need to share why you want to meet off-site.
And if your Principal is like really dug in and isn’t forthcoming about their specific reasoning, I would just ask to have a conversation.
During your one on one with the Principal, express that there’s nothing in your bylaws that prohibit meeting off campus.
Ask if there’s anything from the school district that relates to school support organizations that would cover this situation.
Give them the opportunity to discuss their concerns.
And relay your reasons for wanting to meet off campus, that the PTO needs to recruit more members and volunteers so that we can do more for the school.
Being honest and open with your reasoning and carving out space to have a conversation may be the difference making and result in the Principal relinquishing their hesitations.
Should Official PTO Business Be Conducted at Bars?
One final point of clarification on this topic that needs to be stated: Official business should not be conducted at the off-site PTO gathering.
The point of meeting off campus isn’t to vote on issues or readjust the budget, but rather help parents form relationships and enjoy some relaxed social time together.
If you decide to meet off campus, explain to all and make it perfectly clear that it’s for just that.
If the PTO Night Out is in lieu of the regular monthly PTO meeting, be sure to conduct business via email, if your bylaws and standing rules permit it, or schedule another outing in addition to the regular general member meeting.
Watch this!
Over to you!
Hope this post has given you a better idea of first, an idea for an off-campus meeting and two, how to respond to your hesitant Principal.
It’s more than okay for your group to take a month off from official business, especially when there’s little business to be handled, and meet socially at a bar or restaurant instead.
It’s a great way to strengthen relationships between members, which will only benefit your group in the long run since so much PTO work is connected to personal relationships.
