When you think back to your involvement in your child’s school parent group, whether it’s a Parent Teacher Organization (PTO) or another group, what likely stands out is the amount of miscommunications that you’ve experienced.
And that’s really unfortunate, but the name of the game when it comes to interacting with other humans, right?
And simple misunderstandings and miscommunications can develop into avoidable conflict and drama.
So today I’m highlighting a simple trick of the trade to help minimize all of that possible unpleasantness that comes from muddy communication.
This little communication trick will make your life so much easier, and it has personally saved me from getting into hot water or getting out of a sticky situation on multiple, multiple occasions.
This “trick” something that really comes from my training as a litigation attorney, so I thought I would share it, just in case you are not a litigation attorney and are looking for a super handy life hack.
Let’s dive in!
Follow Up in Writing
The trick involved here to rid your life of some conflict is to always follow up in writing.
It really is quite simple, but it’s not something most PTO volunteers are doing on the regular.
But part of being a really clear and good communicator is to follow up and make sure everyone is on the same page.
What I typically like to do, especially if I only have a verbal communication or conversation with someone, is to follow it up in writing with either a text or an email.
I summarize the conversation and setting out the fine details in the message, trying to be as concise as possible.
I usually do this in a pretty casual tone- in part to make sure that my position is clear and also so that the details we discussed in person and written down for ease of future reference.
My memory isn’t what it was before I had kids- hello Mom-brain!
In addition to seeking clarity, but also to cover my butt to ensure I’m not at fault for miscommunications.
A good follow up message not only covers you in case something happens (so you can point back to this email and point out that “You knew about this” or “We got on the same page, and you didn’t respond”), but it also shows that you are a good communicator.
It really helps to keep everyone on the same page, with the same understanding.
When you write to someone and confirm the details, they have the opportunity to say, “Well, that wasn’t my understanding” or “This is what I’d like to change.”
It will make your position clear so they can’t act confused and try to gaslight you about what really happened.
Add to all of this that it’s just part of being a respectful human to cover most of, if not all the bases.
Real-World Example: How Sending a Three Sentence Email Saved My PTO Hundreds of Dollars
Following up in writing has helped me out so many times in the PTO world.
Most recently, my high school PTO was sharing a concession space with the school’s Athletic Boosters and we had made it clear that they could not use any of our equipment during the Winter concessions period.
The backstory for why we weren’t into sharing our equipment is that we’d previously let them use some of our concessions equipment, but it has been returned partially broken and filthy. Oy!
Prior to the start of the Winter concessions season, we removed our equipment from the shared space and stored it in our locked storage closet that we have exclusive use of.
On the first day of the Winter sports season, I got a text from the custodian asking if the Athletic Boosters could use our equipment.
I didn’t want to put the custodian in the position of being the bearer of bad news, so I sent a literal three sentence message to the Athletic Boosters President and advisor wishing them the best for a good season and letting them know that our equipment was not available for use this year.
Well, they went ahead and used our equipment anyway, and it took a couple of months for it to get back to us that this was happening, and one machine was said to be broken. Ugh.
Luckily, I’d saved the email, so I was able to send it to the building Principal and Superintendent along with a very strongly worded memo expressing our dismay at the property theft.
Because my email had been so crystal clear, it was very apparent that there was no question our equipment was not available for use and that the Boosters were in the wrong.
It saved a literal he said, she said situation in the meeting with all parties and saved me a ton of anxiety too since it was such a clear cut case of wrongdoing.
In the end, the suspected equipment wasn’t broken, so we suffered no monetary loss and I’m guessing the Boosters advisor got a mark on his record.
And we won’t have to worry about having to fix equipment others break going forward!
Not a great outcome, but I was happy I’d sent the message and that the resolution was an apology and agreement that our equipment was out of bounds for use going forward.
There are many other occasions when sending a brief, confirmation message could come into play to really help you as a PTO leader, whether it’s a disagreement with your Principal, a disagreement with a fellow Executive Board member, or a fellow PTO volunteer.
Just by documenting the issue and creating that paper trail is something that will come in very handy.
Everybody can benefit from incorporating this hack into their lives on the regular.
When to Document Your Conversations
Now, what kind of conversations do you need to document?
I would recommend documenting for anybody who has a sticky personality, if you know what I mean.
Think about that person – PTO volunteer, school employee, etc.- who tends to cause issues or always seems to have a problem with something- perhaps they never learned to play nicely with others- for sure, document things with them!
You don’t have to document every little thing; you’re going to use your judgment.
The first time you get burned, you’re going to learn what you need to do, and you might be a little less cautious about sending a confirmation message.
Another Reason to Document Conversations
One last reason to document things in your PTO is that it’s rather respectful.
Especially when you have a conversation with someone, they might be distracted; they might be on their way to do something else, and you’re not capturing their full attention.
They might forget the details, so really, it’s not just about covering your booty.
It goes beyond that to really keep everybody on the same page, because that is the ultimate goal.
Ultimately, you’re trying to get rid of any potential issues, right?
You want the smoothest PTO volunteer experience possible.
You’re too busy for that!
Watch this!
A Resource Principals Love
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Over to You
It’s super helpful to keep track of conversations, especially with people who might cause trouble or misunderstand things, whether intentional or not.
A quick email or text after a chat can be a lifesaver and help prevent future conflict!
It’s like a little insurance policy that keeps everyone on the same page. Lawyers do this all the time, but it’s a good habit for anyone.
It’s not just about protecting yourself; it shows respect for others and helps avoid drama.
Plus, it keeps things clear and easy for everyone involved.
The bottom line is that clarity is key when it comes to communication, and following up in writing with an email or a text to whoever you just had a conversation with is a great way to ensure that.
So here’s to clearer, less drama-filled PTO situations!
