Are you a principal looking to form a stronger, more effective relationship with your school’s parent-teacher organization, whether it’s a PTO or a PTA or some other name?
I’m guessing you are because who doesn’t want this for themselves?
You work too hard as a Principal to not leverage the opportunity the PTO presents for your school community.
And you’re also smart enough to know that improvement is always possible and you’re all about the growth mindset, for your students, staff, and personally, too.
The truth is that having a stronger relationship with your school parent group is something any school leader can learn to do, so let’s get into it!
Communicate Better
The very first thing that you can do as a Principal to form a strong relationship with your PTO is to start communicating better, clearer, more effectively with your parent group.
As a Principal, this is primarily means focusing on the relationship with the PTO President because they are your main line of communication with the rest of the PTO.
All PTO communications should be flowing through the President.
They are not the head decision maker for the PTO.
But they are a decision maker, in collaboration with the rest of the group.
So it’s key that they are involved in the communications about the PTO because just as you need to know all that is happening in your building, the PTO President needs to be aware of group happenings.
Make sure they’re cc’d on emails with other PTO volunteers if they’re not already on the email chain.
Prioritize Meetings with the PTO President
Meeting with the President on a regular basis goes hand in hand with having better communication since it carves out time and space for conversations between the two of you.
Before the school year even begins, the two of you should be sitting down and having a conversation to get on the same page about how to approach the year.
Discuss things like how you best like to communicate (emails, texts, in person discussions), what you as the Principal want to be looped in on (everything or can certain topics like meeting room reservations and other administrative matter be routed through your administrative assistant), etc.
Also discuss goals and plans (events, programs and fundraisers) for the year, especially if you haven’t yet, and see how the school and PTO can collaborate, or at least support one another.
Consider Exchanging Cell Phone Numbers
In most cases, they’ll be a time when the President needs to get a hold of you when you’re not in your office.
It could be that the building is unexpectedly locked for the scheduled PTO meeting and the evening custodian isn’t answering the doorbell.
It could be that the PTO needs access to their closet space in the school that’s currently blocked by a security gate (and the custodians are no where to be found).
And because I don’t want to portray custodians constantly in fault here, it could be necessary for a discussion that needs to happen off the school email system.
In each of these instances, having a direct line to you will come in very handy.
All of these situations actually have happened to me over the years, and I was very happy to have the Principal’s number, especially in the case of the last example…
The PTO selected the head night custodian to receive a lifetime achievement award for his service to children at the annual awards program sponsored by all PTO units in the school district.
The custodian had requested the night off so he could be attend the ceremony, but his boss, a central office administrator who was in charge of the custodians, declined the request.
The administrator (who was not a PTO fan for some reason) told the custodian that he could just pop on stage to receive his award (in his work uniform) and then go right back to work.
The custodian was unhappy at the slight, and casually shared this information with me (I was PTO President at the time) a few hours before the program was scheduled to begin.
And I in turn, sent a text message to the building Principal about the situation, recognizing that an off the record conversation was warranted.
The Principal saw the slight to both the custodian and the PTO, and told the custodian to go home and change in the for the program- he would deal with the disrespectful administrator.
In the end, the custodian was treated properly and was able to enjoy his time in the spotlight but the story may have been different if I hadn’t been able to text the Principal.
Our text message exchange allowed us to freely discuss the matter since our messages weren’t accessible to a third party (e.g., central office employees) like they would’ve been if we’d communicated via email.
And while this issue hopefully isn’t common, it demonstrates how you never know why you might need to chat in private, so swapping contact information in advance is a good idea.
Show Up at Meetings
Consistently attending the monthly PTO meetings is the next aspect of having a strong relationship with the PTO.
You don’t need to attend every meeting, but attending some is necessary so not only for you to understand what the PTO is doing, but also for the PTO to feel like you care.
Definitely go to the first PTO meeting of the year and a couple throughout the year.
For the months that you’re unable to attend, ask an Assistant Principal to attend in your place.
This will give them access to get to the know the PTO and their work and the PTO members will have access to another school representative, strengthening the relationship across the board.
If no one else is available to attend, ask if virtual attendance is possible.
If that’s not a possibility, send the President a building report in advance to share with the group.
Attending meetings (and making sure to send information when you can’t be there) signals that you value the PTO.
Last year, the high school had a new crop of Principals, and they did not understand that they should be coming to PTO meetings (none had previous experience with a PTO, apparently) and so no administrators came to the high school PTO’s meetings.
And the relationship between the school and the PTO really suffered.
Communication isn’t easy and it’s been frustrating.
In fact, lots of miscommunications are happening.
For example, the PTO gives the Principal $2000 every year to use as they’d please for the school (with no strings attached).
But the new Principal didn’t understand and tried to give the money back.
Here’s hoping they get the message for the upcoming school year and things are better!
Be Open to New Ideas
Another aspect of a strong Principal-PTO relationship is being open to new ideas and the best Principals welcome new ideas and new ways of doing things, especially when it comes to the PTO.
I’ve worked with Principals in the past who thought that if it wasn’t their idea, it wasn’t a good idea, and again, the relationship with the PTO suffered.
Without even knowing it, they were limiting the possibilities for what could have been just by being so closed off to new ideas.
If you find that you’re feeling like the first thing that wants to come out of your mouth is “no,” I want you to maybe check yourself a little bit and see why that is.
Is there a path to “yes?”
Are you open to a discussion about your hesitations?
Take this example from an elementary school PTO who wanted to put on a school dance for their K-3 building.
The first idea was to have the dance in January or February since those months can be especially long, dark and cold in Northeast Ohio.
At first the Principal said no, but quickly offered up that she was concerned about the spread of lice (a wintertime dance would mean lots of coats and cold weather gear, probably piled up because the school doesn’t have capacity for adult and student coat storage).
So then the PTO asked if a September dance would be a possibility since outerwear wouldn’t be necessary that time of year.
And that was all it took to get to yes.
The PTO was able to put on the dance and the Principal didn’t have to worry about unwanted fallout from the event.
Being open to new ideas also means being willing to have a discussion about roadblocks or hesitations (and this is also related to communicating clearly with the PTO).
Because the parents might not be thinking about certain things (like lice) and once everyone knows the issue, a workaround can be found.
Work Collaboratively
If you are not already working collaboratively with your school parent group, that is another missed opportunity for you as a Principal.
There are so many different things that the PTO can help with that maybe haven’t even crossed your mind.
Here in Ohio, there was a legislative mandate to require schools provide parent and student education sexual violence prevention, mental health awareness, and some other related topics.
Unknowingly, the high school PTO was planning a speaker series on the same topics, separate and apart from the school.
The school caught wind of the PTO’s plans and asked to partner and reschedule the events to they could ensure social workers were on hand to support anyone needing it.
The PTO enthusiastically agreed and the events were a great success.
The school met the new mandate and the PTO offered valuable programs to the community—a win-win for all.
Be a Team Player
So the last way that you can foster a stronger relationship with your school’s PTO or PTA as a school leader and principal is to just be a team player.
This goes hand in hand with everything previously laid out in this post.
But really, support the group when you can!
There is so much that you can do in that regard that you may not even be realizing.
I’ve worked with a number of Principals over the years, some more engaged in PTO matters than others, and one stands out as a great example of what being a team player looks like.
This Principal consistently went above and beyond to clear roadblocks for the PTO whenever they seemed to pop up, and what’s more, didn’t make it seem like it was a big deal.
He just did it, often times without having to be asked first.
One year, the PTO had the idea to host a bonfire.
No other school had previously hosted such an event, and to be really honest, I thought this was an impossible ask.
But as it turns out, it wasn’t a tall ask at all.
The Principal heard the idea, looked around the room, clapped his hands, and said, “Let’s do it! That sounds like a great idea.”
And as roadblocks for the bonfire came up, he worked to knock them down.
The Fire Department was a big hurdle to overcome, since they prefer to keep fires from starting and aren’t especially keen on intentionally lighting things on fire.
But they relented and issued the permit after lots of negotiations, including with the Principal.
The night of the event, the bonfire wouldn’t actually start- the custodians were trying to light the fire as the Fire Department had instructed, but it wouldn’t catch.
So the Principal poured some lighter fluid to get things started, and the Fire Chief just about lost it.
As the flames roared into the sky, the Principal explained that he did what needed to be done- you can’t have a bonfire without a flame.
In the end, the event was a huge, huge success and eventually transformed into an annual event (with lighter fluid being explicitly forbidden going forward) and small fundraiser for the PTO too.
It’s been a number of years since that first bonfire, but it would not have happened in the first place without that Principal being really a team player and doing all he could to make it happen.
Watch This!
I made a video on this topic and you can give it a watch here:
Resources You’ll Love
Empower Your School Community: Reinvigorate Your PTO/PTA.
As a Principal, you’re a leader in shaping your school’s future. Is fostering a thriving, engaged parent community a priority?
Post-pandemic, many schools are facing declining parent involvement. Don’t let this trend define your school. Take proactive steps to build a vibrant partnership.
The Principal’s PTO Partnership Kit provides actionable tools to assess your current situation, identify growth opportunities, and implement organizational strategies.
Reconnect with your parents and create a powerful support system.
Get your kit and lead the change today!
Transform your school’s parent engagement with the Powered Up Parent Engagement System.Â
This isn’t just a resource bank; it’s a comprehensive, all-in-one platform designed to elevate your PTO, Booster Club, and all parent groups.
Provide your volunteers with the exact tools and training they need, tailored to their specific roles. Â
Watch your parent groups thrive and your school community flourish.
Tired of feeling like you’re playing catch-up with your school’s parent group?
Wish you could better leverage it to boost family engagement and strengthen your school community?
The Principal’s Parent Group Playbook is your essential guide to building, improving, or completely transforming a struggling parent-teacher organization into a thriving, effective force.
You know how crucial parent groups are, yet your professional training didn’t cover how to best manage or support them.
You dream of a true partnership with the group, but understanding how they work feels overwhelming, and figuring it all out on your own is simply not an option.
This playbook solves that problem.
It combines a high-level overview of how parent groups operate with engaging activities that reinforce key concepts.
Each chapter ends with actionable strategies you can implement immediately, whether your group is brand new, ready to level up, or in desperate need of a refresh.
This isn’t a dense manual covering every detail of running a parent group—that’s a job for the volunteers themselves.
This book gives you precisely what you need to know, explaining why it matters and empowering you to forge an authentic, powerful partnership that helps your entire school community succeed.
Get your copy of The Principal’s Parent Group Playbook here.
Over to You
Having a strong relationship with your school’s PTO isn’t hard, but requires being intentional about:
- Clear and consistent communication
- Attending PTO meetings
- Being open to new ideas
- Working collaboratively
- Being a team player
The combination will help you form an actual partnership with your school parent group.
And with this partnership opens up a world of possibilities to do fantastic things for not only your school community, but benefit you professionally as well.
